My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
