should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
