I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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