dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
