2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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