wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
