Her vagina should come with caution tape.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
