Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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