I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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