did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
