I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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