What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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