she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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