one two three fourrrrnication!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
