i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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