In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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