Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
