i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
