well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
