sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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