I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
