I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
