Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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