Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
