why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
we should paint friendship bongs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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