Where is the hickey?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
