I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
