We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
