Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize