Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
