It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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