She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
