Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize