girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
