I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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