You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
