Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
