I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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