Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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