Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
