There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
