Only a mothe r could love this liver
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize