this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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