just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
