Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
How external is "for external use only"?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
