Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
