you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
