walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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