What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
