I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
