Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
