She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
