oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
