At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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