I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
