somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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