But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize