My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
