oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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