You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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