I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
