i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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