The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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