ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
