Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
