Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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