brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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