we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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