The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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