so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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