Where is the hickey?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
