Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
