i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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