I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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